Sharon M. is a 36-year-old cancer survivor. Now living with stage IV breast cancer (the disease has spread to other parts of her body) and consulting for a pharmaceutical company, Sharon speaks from a place inside that is healed but not yet cured.
Sharon was married for 10 years, but her marriage did not survive the breast cancer diagnosis. She says, "Cancer does not cause divorce; it just magnifies what you already have in the relationship."
Discovery Health interviewed Sharon to share with you how cancer changes life. Her experience shows that whereas our bodies may be devastated, the human spirit cannot be defeated.
Q: It is often said that serious illness awakens you to the opportunity to change your life for the better; to live more passionately than you ever dreamed. Has this been your experience?
A: Yes, most definitely. I am putting myself first, particularly the things that are important to me. Before cancer, I tried so hard to please others that I had little time to regenerate my energies. I still find myself constantly slipping and saying "yes" too much, but I recognize it sooner. I have realized I am no longer superwoman. My body is weaker now and cannot sustain the grueling pace I used to put it through (work and personal life).
Q: In other words, your disease has crowded out what was not that important in your life?
A: Yes, mostly the people who were not truly friends. I lost many, many friends after I was diagnosed. They could not handle a young, healthy woman in her early thirties being diagnosed with a very serious form of breast cancer. The friendships in my life are much closer and more meaningful since cancer.
Q: Did you make major lifestyle changes after your diagnosis?
A: My lifestyle was "perfect" before diagnosis! I worked out every week since running track in high school. I am a non-smoker, non-drinker, no-coffee, no-birth control pills, no-meat girl. I was treated for cancer and had a recurrence one year later. Now I indulge more, although infrequently in what the general population eats! I eat meat and drink alcohol occasionally. Moderation is always the key.
Q: Has cancer changed your personality?
A: No, I am still a hard-driving woman who sets very high goals and standards for myself.
Q: How do you cope with the emotional aspects of cancer?
A: My biggest coping mechanism has been talking to other young women with breast cancer. Most of my closest friends are the women I have met through my support group. We always joke (sadly), that this disease happens to the most amazing, wonderful women. Also, I have a treatment plan that involves Western medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, vitamins and immune booster supplements, yoga, visualization, meditation and journaling, which has helped me deal with all the emotions that accompany this disease. It is a wonderful, healthy outlet.
Q: Does the fear of dying from cancer loom over you?
A: There is a possibility that I may die of breast cancer as a young woman. I am a realist. I also expect the best and prepare for the worst. If I die of cancer, I am not afraid because I have a very strong faith. "A healing is not always a cure." That quote has helped me deal with my recurrence and the death of three very close friends of mine who have died of breast cancer in the last two years. The frustration and the fear of what this disease does to your body, your life and your dignity impacts me the most in the darkness of the night. During the day, I am so busy with my work and volunteer work for the Y-ME (www.y-me.org) breast cancer organization, that I don't have time to dwell on all the negative effects of cancer growing in my young body.
Q: It sounds like giving back to others with cancer has been instrumental to your healing. Could you tell me more about how helping others has also helped you?
A: Giving back and volunteering for Y-ME has truly been my "lifeline." I would not be able to cope with my recurrence without the wonderful women I have met through Y-ME. Through the Young Women's Support Group, I have met other young women who are stage IV/metastatic survivors. We are traveling this very difficult journey together. I help them (I am the moderator of the support group) and they help me. It is not as scary when you are not alone. Only someone who has traveled the same path can really understand what your fears are and support you. I have been dealing with the disease for 4½ years. I can hear the relief flood through the voice of another woman who as been diagnosed or who is facing recurrence when they talk to me. They are so happy to hear they are not the only one facing this crisis.
